Everything Is Coming Together

As of the past two days everything in my life seems like it's coming together... My girlfriend broke up with me & I finally had a sit down talk with my ex boyfriend. Haha, most people would think that being broken up with & talking about your issues with your ex wouldn't exactly be an occasion to smile about, but before all this I was conflicted; I didn't know white from black. I was weighed down with guilt, secrecy, & heartache. I felt guilty because I was in a relationship with someone that I knew I could never love. Everywhere I went I had to be cautious to make sure my ex didn't find out about my queerness before I had the chance to tell him. And much worse was the heartache I was experiencing from losing two of my best friends.
I hadn't talked to my ex boyfriend, in person, in over 8 months when we met up the other night. Psh, I hadn't talked to my ex girlfriend in over a month when she finally got the balls to break up with me yesterday morning. So, you can understand why I thought I'd already lost both of those friendships.
So, I talked to my ex boyfriend the other night... I was so nervous. Not just because I hadn't seen him in 8 months but because since the last time I'd seen him he'd changed a lot & needless to say, I'd changed A LOT. We were meeting up so we could lay everything out on the table, in hopes that the both of us could find some closure or at least come to a point where we could be friends again. I, on the other hand, was a little bit more terrified about this meeting than he was, I'm pretty sure. I mean, the most terrifying thing in the world is coming out to someone you have so much history with & are still in love with.
Even though I was shaking & my heart was pounding, for the first time I can remember, coming out to someone was crazy simple & super easy. I straight up told him that when I got to college, last August, I realized that I was interested in more women than just the one girl in high school he already knew about. Like I said, we have a lot of history, so it was easy to just lay it out there like that. What was more amazing was where our conversation led from there. It was the first time that I truly felt that someone completely understood my sexuality. I can't label myself as a lesbian, bisexual, or straight because I don't feel like I fit into any of those categories. I just feel like I fall in love with people for their personas only and really I've come to the place where I know that God is okay with that.
Everything in my life is coming together, again. After my talk with my ex boyfriend, I feel like I'm beginning to regain my best friend. And after hearing my ex even say that he thinks that God is okay with my sexuality, I think I'm starting to get to that place as well.
Oh yeah, and my ex girlfriend... we both agreed that the relationship should end. She was really relieved & we just had a nice friendly talk after that. Caught up on life over the past month. I was happy to hear that she wanted to break up with me cuz well, we run in the same circle of friends and that just would've been awkward.
So, yeah, all my problems just seem to be drifting away & it's great. Life's coming together nicely!