What Should One Think

What should one think of the love of their life? Are they that person that brings warmth to your heart when the corners of their mouth lift towards the sky and encroach upon a smile? Do they frustrate you to fiery rage, yet at the same time melt your heart like a fine powdered sugar meeting heat? Or could it possibly be as simple as they have the cutest nose in the world that you just can't get enough of? Shouldn't you at least think they are the cheese to your macaroni?
I'm not sure what kind of person the love of my life should be nor if I'll ever really know what love is once I've found it. I've found it's incredibly hard to clean up the idea of love once it's been tainted. It's not that I've lost all faith in love. I know it exists; in it's purest form love can be beautiful and intense, but in an instant it can turn into something incredibly nasty and tragic.
So perhaps it's a favor done in not even having a chance to love when women tell you they would rather attain their parent's pride than their own happiness or that they are too needy for distance in between them and their partner and when men text message with such a frequency it drives you away.
Yes, I don't know much about what I should think of the love of my life but my idea of love is so tainted it hasn't become much of a problem.

Apparently People Don't Like Being Stared At

I think perhaps I can say now that dating men is just not for me. I tried it and I'm over it. Granted I did only date two guys this summer and they both wound up being a tad bit on the weird side. This isn't to say that I'm not still attracted to men because believe me I'm all about that and a bag of chips; I'm just no longer interested in dating just to experience more of what the male sex has to offer. Perhaps one day a man will charm me with his wits and some obscene knowledge of an interesting topic and sweep me off my feet. However right now it seems other things have sparked my interest.
As of late a certain oh so obvious lesbian at my work has my attention. It's apparently something that she's beginning to notice, which was definitely not my intent. I just wanted to stare at her a bit and you know not completely out myself to the Christian organization I work for, but apparently if you stare at someone enough they begin to notice after a while. As I was clocking out last week, I did my usual stare down on my way out of the office and got a nice little stare back with a smile that almost said something like, "this is weird please stop".
Today didn't make the situation any better. As I walked into work and began to smile at her and her coworkers trying to make it less awkward, she immediately took out her phone and pretended to text. I don't know what's going on there but that encounter in the morning didn't make the one in the afternoon any less uncomfortable. As I was heading out in the afternoon I decided to head to the women's locker room to go to the bath room and as I entered the door she was heading out of the locker room. We nearly collided directly into one another. When we each realized who the other was it was like two magnets repelling each other. It basically turned into a holy shit moment; like if we touched each other all hell was going to break loose and we both would get fired for some dumb reason that would essentially amount to this Christian organization not wanting gay people working with kids.
If only the world wasn't so stupid and we could all just be honest with every one all the time...