THE BISEXUAL

I used to have a bisexual friend that just couldn't be out, not even around some of her closest friends. I never understood it and at times it even angered me. I'm not sure if she even intended to tell me of her sexuality but in any case on the days when she felt like fitting into the hetero-normative mold a little more than she normally did, she had no problem saying things such as, "Gosh your such a lesbian!" "Could you be any more of a lesbo, haha?" She would then go on making snide, stereotypical jokes about lesbians and gays as if she was completely out of that whole spectrum.
Like I said her closeted lifestyle is something I couldn't wrap my mind around, this is especially since she had previously come out and decided randomly to re-closet herself. Some of her family is aware of her sexuality and even at the start of college most of her friends were too. So, obviously trying to fathom the idea of someone wanting to return to a life filled with secrecy and lies is hard, but now I'm beginning to understand it.
I've started to become "THE BISEXUAL." No one sees me anymore. They see who I'm attracted to and a lot of times they don't even see that far because they put another label on me before I can really explain it. Women label me as the slut or the cheater and men tend to label me as gay. I've gotten to the point where I don't want to be labeled as THE BISEXUAL anymore. I just want to be me.
I'm at a point in my life where I want people to know my character, the flaws, the brokenness, the spiritual amazingness, and my humor in it all. I'm sure everyone goes through moments such as this in which they want to break free from their society given labels & identities. I just happen to be a little annoyed with mine...
So, perhaps I'll slowly sink back into my closet. Perhaps I won't. Either way I suppose something has to change within myself for people to start seeing what I want them to see. I do know it's a no win situation... because being out as bisexual is terrifying and not being out can be suffocating.