Swinging

How the hell did it get here
Me lying awake at night
You sleeping next to me
Staring at the ceiling
Struggling to slip into a world of sleep
How did we get here

When six months ago you said, "I like your outfit"
I said, "I like to dance"
You held tight against the wall
I clasped my hands around your hips and began swinging
And swinging until we got here
Intertwined, tangled in this bed
Tangled in each other
How did we get here

So locked in the magic
The magic of a smile and snowy wintry mixes
I think it's your laugh that got me here
Your arms that kept it going
It was all just simply fun
Until somehow it became the tango
This wasn't meant to be such a serious kind of dance

I don't think I want to quit
But being so wrapped up in this love
Lately it's stressing me out
I can't seem to make you happy
I piss you off with every single word I say
Last night when I touched you
You just turned the other way

How the hell did we get here!
When did the swinging of our hips become so directional
So forceful
I miss feeling the groove of your pelvis against mine
I miss hearing you laugh in the ease of it all
Can't we get back there
When six months ago you said, "I like your outfit"
I said, "I like to dance"
And the swinging of our hips gave us this amazing chance!

My Heart Song

There are those people that come and go throughout your life. There are others that are more special and remain for longer periods of time. But then there are the very rare people that only come along once or twice in a life time that shine a special kind of light into your life, a light so bright you want every one to know about it.
God has brought the most amazing woman into my life. She brings me so much joy it's almost incomprehensible. What I've come to realize is that I'm tired of hiding my joy from the people that care about me the most. I want them to share in the happiness I'm experiencing. I want them to know all of me, not just the pieces I've given them these past few years, and get to know my lady as well. I want to be able to be completely honest for the first time in years.
I know that telling my family I'm in love with a woman would not result in shared joy. It would result in heart break, and that I think is the hardest thing about it all. I have days when I'm spilling over with so much love and affection and joy and heart song that I almost tell my mom how in love I am right then and there. I build up my speech; I know exactly what I'm gonna say; and then I really think it through, get struck with terror, and break down in tears.
It's a no win situation that I'm put in. I don't want to break my mom's heart by not marrying a man. However, I want so desperately for her to know how incredibly happy I am and to be honest with her about my life! The fact that I can't tell her that I've found someone who makes my world turn round & round is what breaks my heart!